once opon a mocking jay
by Ghostgirl2000
Summary: (Katniss POV) this is after the moking jay, during the epilouge of the mocking jay. About the rest of her life.


_**Hi this is mt first published Fanfiction I hope you enjoy please ingnore the mistakes I tried to correct all that I can.(not very good with stuff like that). anyway, enjoy more on the way! By the way this is after the Mocking Jay, but during the epilouge. **_

_**I owe nothing that all goes to Suzane Collins the creator of the lovely Hunger Games!**_

5 years after the reaping for the quarter quell, peeta and I have grown together but not the in the same way we once were . his arms are almost never there to comfort me during my nightmares the way they once did. the strong warm buzz of love when we kiss is weak not fully bonded between us. I find myself making a list of all the things I have done to hurt him. one I pulled out those berries, two I left him alone with Betee in the quarter quell, I hated him when he was rescued from the capital as a hijacked wreck. Then I kissed him. I feel the temptation to go on when I notice that my mouth is filled with blood from my habit of biting lip. I start repeating: _My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am seventeen years old, I survived the hunger games and one of the only remaining victors of the hunger games, I destroyed the capital, my sister is dead. peeta loves me I don't deserve him…_ Then a thought pops into my head maybe I can confess to Peeta to explain everything I can to try to get the boy with the bread back to me so he can hold me tight to him at night without hesitation. I look at the clock in my bedroom it's 2:00 in the morning. he would be asleep or maybe he is having a similar thought in his head. I decide I must do this now otherwise I will talk myself out of it or forget what i want to say to him. I slink outside and silently maneuver into the dark house. almost identical to mine. I go up the stairs recapping what i want to say. when I enter his room. I am about to wake him up when i freeze and i notice my hand is shaking from fear. I take a gulp and continue to move forward and take a seat on his bed the exact same as mine. I am about to say his name when he bolts straight up and looks around the room gasping for air, five minutes later he calms down from he's episode by closing his eyes and murmuring something to himself. when he turns to try to go back to sleep he finds my eyes and at first does not react until he realizes that I am real. Not a mutated mut. "Katniss"? he whispers. I try to find the words that i need but all I can say is "Yeah it's me." Idiot I think. "Why are you…" Because I have something to say." so bear with me" "Katniss" "Stop! i have to say this" I try to stay calm to hide the fear try to put my thoughts into words. But he is already embracing me looking into my eyes for an answer. When i realize i'm crying. "When we first met I thought I loved you, then I hated you when you teamed up with the careers. and then i thought I loved you and then we were back in the arena and I loved you but, then you were changed and I hated you, but now i just don't know, I think I love you. I'm sobbing now, pressed up against his chest while he is telling me to calm down. in a loving tone saying it's okay, combing his hand through my hair. but I am unable to stop so he tries to settle me with a kiss. after several moments later I finally stop crying. I gather my bearings and start to descend to the door. "Wait" peeta whispers, "Come here". I backtrack back onto the soft bed and settle myself into Peeta's arms. Once it's all quite and still I notice something different something strong something I piece together instantly. Right in this moment the old peeta is back strong, comforting and warm all at the same time. like before the quarter quell. before the torture from the capital. No fear or shaking, I sleep without nightmares for the rest of the night. In the morning I awake with Peeta playing with my hair. I keep my eyes closed because it's truly peaceful. But a change In my breathing alerts peeta that I am awake. "Goodmorning" He whispers and gives me a kiss. "I'm sorry" I admit. "That wasn't fair to put you in the spotlight like that." "No, it's not your fault I didn't know you felt that way I thought I drove you away when i tried to kill you". "How could you think that!?" I blurt out. "well for starters you didn't leave your home for three months." he's right i just sat and stared and my fireplace waiting for my life to end. Again i try to find the right words. " I know but I am here now".

I utter under my breath. " You are" he whispers " and it took you long enough I thought you would never come around". I smile forms on my face but peeta kisses me again. I can almost taste the happiness on his lips, all the joy he gets when kissing me. But I soon realized this kiss is different not soft but strong. I can feel the hunger shoot through my body so hard I shake. more kisses from Peeta reassure me. the only thing that stops us is the need for air I gasp at the short breaks before I know it I am falling into a sleepy tranz in Peeta's arms. For the first time in 5 years I awake in the afternoon without a nightmare. Sitting up to wipe away the haziness of sleep finding that Peeta is not on the bed. I walk downstairs and the smell of cheese buns fill the air also the scent of oatmeal starting to overtake my stomach, as I am practically drooling when I sit down. Lost in my giddiness I didn't even realize Peeta never said goodmorning. I am confused until I look at him and see he is grasping the back of his chair knuckles white. I instantly hug him resting my head on his shoulders. I used to try to coax him out of this delirious state, but it never really did anything but soothe me. A few moments later he looks up trying to find me and I whisper "right here". He immediately relaxes and kisses me on the cheek. After we sit down and eat our breakfast silently. Then the question pops that I have been trying to ignore "why did you wait five years to come clean?" "because I was grieving and thought you didn't love me anymore." "I will always love you Katniss". "I know" I murmur. After a few silent moments Peeta starts to bake. And I head out to the woods with my bow. I sit by the lake for an hour and think about the events that have recently happen. I decide I should do something nice for Peeta something special even when I know he'll say i'm all he needs. After I am done hunting with three squirrels and a turkey I quickly return home to ask Peeta what I can do to make him even happier. When I realize that we don't even live with each other and yet we think of ourselves as husband and wife. So then this is the perfect special deed for peeta he will be ecstatic that we can officially live with each other and be a family like a real married family. Although I don't know how to ask him. after dinner I can't wait any longer. "would you like to move in with me?" a moment of shock on his face and then joy. "Sure are you totally ok with it?" "yeah" I pause " I want you to... so we are a real family." He smiles a huge grin and I am pleasantly pleased with my actions for once. We go straight to packing as Peeta is so excited to take this leap. He can't stop smiling. We move all of his baking equipment stuff first even though he has to carry most of it since he is the strongest. then his clothes and then his painting stuff. I have noticed him working on a new painting lately but he won't let me look at it. I take a sneak peak of his new creation. but once I see it I snap my eyes close because it is of us in the cave, our first games. I almost am crying when Peeta comes to me."Ready?" I put on a smile and follow him to my house.

2 weeks after we moved in together the days have started to blend together. I haven't had any nightmares which is practically a new record and most of our days are spent doing three things baking, hunting and cuddling. I am sitting by the fireplace and Peeta is baking a cake for a couple down the street who are having a party for their sons 10th birthday party. Peeta loves doing things for kids so he is especially excited for this order. "what color should I do for the frosting?" he asks. "um, green and blue". I expected a reply but I know he is busily at work. After several more silent moments A question blurts out of his mouth like it was a random thing that popped into his mind. "would you ever like to have a baby?" I hesitate caught off guard not by the question itself but the way he said it. my mind is totally blank but after a few seconds it starts to buzz. How could he ask that? does he want children? how should I say no. because it is a no. After all we have been through I would think he would understand why I can't. I have lost too many lives I can't produce one and then have it be taken away. I realize I am furious with Peeta. I am concentrating so hard on my thoughts I don't realize peets is sitting next to me on the couch. arm around my waist. "Katniss?" Once again I am searching for the right words that never come. "No!". "Why not". peeta asks with a hint of confusion on his face as he tries to read mine. Then I lock down and start tearing up. "Because I have lost too many people that loved me and were counting on me". "Katniss… no one is going to take anyone away from you-". How do you know!?". I snap back. "Because those people are all gone." It takes me a long time to digest this. could that really be possible? "I didn't mean to upset you, I am truly sorry". Peeta whispers. The rest of the day is dreadfully silent for me. Peeta triest to talk but I just nod and say simple answers.. The days start to go by slower and slower each day. because it's getting colder and colder. one night I snuggle deep into peeta's arms my lips by his ear. A week after our baby conversation I went into the woods and thought about his questions for 3 hours. but I did come up with a decision. "Would you ever like to have a baby?" I whisper into his ear. At first silence then, a smile cracks so big on his face and he responds with this "only with you". the as quickly as the conversation started it had ended and he pulled me under the covers for the best night of my life. The next morning we couldnt stop smiling and kissing. proud of what we decided to do. For the next 2 months no nightmares came, but morning sickness did. I never actually puked but I was really nauseous. I didn't even need a doctors visit. I just new from a gut feeling, But Peeta wanted evidence if I ever thought I was pregnant. So one day I decide today is the day I find out. To keep it a surprise I told Peeta I was going Hunting just like usual. as i made my way into the town i felt a little nauseated but that gave me even more evidence. After waiting in the lobby of the hospital for five minutes a female doctor came and greeted me "Hi Katniss I am Mrs. Miller". I mutter "Hi" because I naturally hate being in hospitals so being in one makes me a little bit cranky. "Would you please come with me?" "sure" after taking several boring tests Mrs. Miller said "well Katniss you are 9 weeks pregnant". I gasp in awe I mean, I could tell I was pregnant but I didn't know I was pregnant for the past nine weeks. I put my hands to my abdomen and find a small little bump there and I fall to my knees and start to cry. How did I let this happen? I am not ready for this. "when do I need to come back?" I murmur. a few weeks, then i'll give you an ultrasound." I nod and leave as quickly as head to the woods I was only there a half hour not long enough for a hunting trip. plus I need to digest the news. I go to the lake

and try to hunt but I am too distracted. So I sit down and start talking to my abdomen. "You gave me a surprise little one. Five years ago I would never have children but here you are." I smile a little bit and realize I am crying again. after an hour of this I decide thats long enough and start to head to the victor village. I open the door and tell Peeta i'm home. He comes down the stairs and greets me with a hug and a kiss. "How was it?" " It was great" I lie. i watch peeta bake as I decide how to tell him at dinner he made my favorite bread, cheese buns. After dinner I can't think of any good way to tell him so I just say it. "peeta… I'm pregnant" a long pause and then he smiles, really!? he leans over to kiss me and hug me. and is smiling so big. I haven't seen him smile this big since we were married. He is smiling so big it makes me smile too. After he kisses me again he lowers himself down to my abdomen and say's "hi little buddy daddy's here and I love you!" I laugh and he looks up. "What?" he smirks and me. "you are going to be the best dad in the world" "and you're going to be the best mom." He kisses me gently. I wish. "You really are he kisses me again." As he can see the doubt in my face. since I am exhausted by the events of the day I start to head upstairs and he follows me to bed. The next Day the Morning sickness really kicks in I can't keep anything down that peeta makes except for cheese buns which isn't a problem for me. Even when I have morning sickness Peeta is still so happy I am glad that he is so happy. I just hope that I can stay together for the next 7 months. I pick up my game bow and game bag and am about to leave when Peeta stops me. "wait you're going hunting?" "Yeah, why not?" "isn't it dangerous?" "no I am only nine weeks out of 4o Peeta I think I will be fine." but I see that he is still worried. "Peeta" I say with more feeling than usual. "I promise i will be careful".

"okay" he whispers and gives me a long gentle kiss. I walk to the lake again and start to hunt. It is a good day to hunt and then I hear something a branch snap. i turn around and it is a coywolf. I take my arrow nock it, aim and hit the animals eye just as it was about to pounce. It slumps over and I carefully walk forward and kneel. This is a lot of meat. I put it in my game bag. This coywolf is easily 50 pounds. I can't carry anymore so I am turning around to go home. Aggravated because I just arrived at the lake. In the Hob people look surprised as my game bag has a coywolf sticking out of it. I open the the front door to our house and peeta also looks surprised that I am home early and to see that I have a coywolf iny bag. "Did you kill that?" "Of course I did" "are... you okay?" "Peeta I'm fine really, you can stop worrying about me." I lean in to kiss "how can I stop worrying when I love you so much?" he murmurs I smile contently. We sit by the fireplace hugging another I stare at the small protruding bump on my abdomen. I can only see it because i am wearing tight pajamas. We decide to turn on the tv and watch the news. when Peet returns from turning the TV on he puts his hand so it's protecting my abdomen. Even if I do think he worries too much, it makes me feel safe.

_**Hope you all enjoyed! please review I want to become better so give me reviews please! the nex chapter will be up by next tuesday maybe sooner! **_


End file.
